year in keys mix 37
Siddhi - Tenderness
Gift - Equality
Shadow - Weakness
Learning to Balance Over-Sentimental & Cruel tendencies in order to welcome Equality which eventually encourages Tenderness.
[Source: The Gene Keys by Richard Rudd]
I celebrate my half birthday on December 8. If time had cooperated, we would be in a cabin at Hocking Hills for a weekend celebrating his brother-in-law's birthday. Playing What Do You Meme, laughing, laughing, tequila in the hot tub, matching NFL light up hats, giggles & kisses, he would stand there draped in UGG - a robe and a pair of slippers, that smile melting hearts not even in its physical presence, his eyes peering deep into my Soul, straight to the depths of my Heart, loving every ounce of me, shadow and light.
I sit at my Altar in my childhood home. I have built it in the very playroom I would stand before my loved ones playing the role of teacher and as I sit Here now, I realize this is exactly the role I was born to fill, but as I grew older those traditional roles of Teacher-Student revealed themselves to me as not my True Goal and I have diverted to teaching in new ways that Encompass the Fullness of what and who I am.
I wear his robe now, twice my size, but that is no matter as his garments give me that familiar sense of Safety and Homeness. I am reminded deeply of his Softness, the Clarity with which he radiated his Spirit out into the world, the Gentle touch he extended to me each day. I sit in the familiar spaces of my life - the couches in my friends' homes, the barstool at our favorite restaurant, the swing in the park, the front seat of my car - the feeling of my Self in them new as I Transform in ways I did not imagine before.
The more I learn about Transformation, the more I recognize its unpredictability. Human Expectation has no place in the process of Evolution.
The week after Thanksgiving has been particularly difficult and emotionally uncertain. Snuggled in the cocoon of our bed, wrapped in the comfort of the UGG comforter he had purchased just that month before we went to Florida with his family, I wake slowly each morning. Eventually, I find the strength to Rise and "get a move on" as if standing as an act itself is the greatest Purpose of my Existence at this moment. I make it to my Altar, finally, each day as its the place where I feel most poised to be Fully Embodied and Authentic, I implore you to create your own Space to feel this within yourself as well.
Once in my Sacred Space, I can communicate with all of my guides especially Mary Magdalene and always my Beloved. While the messages bring comfort, strength, love, and wisdom, I still find I am shaky out in the world during this massive season of Integration. Before, we both saw, and to me, it was all that really ever mattered, yet Now, I realize it is a Gift to each of you reading these words that I find my footing in this world.
This week I have been met with mixed levels of Understanding as I continue to learn to embody Discernment, the Gift of Empathy. I have been crying nonstop meaning the world outside of my Altar has been asked to Witness the Flow of these Feelings too. My work Community showing particular incredible Compassion for me at this time of incredible weakness, wrapping me in their arms through their own seasons, sharing words of encouragement, empowerment, and most importantly for me now, Allowance. My Gratitude for these Angels, a wordless wonder, humbling Graciousness.
Our Community of Friends continues to wrap me in their Tenderness. They remind me that the messiness is natural, a byproduct of the Humanness that connects us. Their words echo reminders of the Strength and Courage we carry, the Light we live by for having learned alongside him all these years. In their Presence, I feel the Transformation. I am grounded in my Self and the necessary shifts taking place within me. They not only See my Light, they Know it intimately and now recognize I am carrying the entirety of the Light our Love shines. I pray for each of us as we come to see His Light reflected within each of us as we extend his lessons in Loving Kindness to our mending Hearts. I pray we come back together glowing, radiant, Embodied Integration, Bright Light Beings connected to the Oneness of All that is.
And then there has been the third reaction. Something happening to me over the last three months has been a necessity to be a bit selfish with my Gifts, not that I cannot share them but rather, I need to sit with them and Nurture them on my own, meaning I need me Now. This makes things difficult in a perceived Reality, even my own Reflection of myself places me as a Guide in the lives of many. So what happens when the Teacher must go back and be Her own Student?
If player isn't working, click this link!
TRACKLIST:
Hologram - Bassnectar
Skullclub (Emalkay Remix) - The Glitch Mob
Adore - Cashmere Cat & Ariana Grande
Gooey (Imagined Herbal Flows Remix) - Glass Animals
Be With Me - QRTR
Bass Inside - AC Slater
Bill - Ninetoes
Function VIP (feat PartyPatty) - Justin Martin & Ardalan
Love is Easy - Yheti
Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
Feed Your Head - Paul Kalkbrenner
Receiver - Tycho
Silver Droplets - Made in Heights
Notice Me - Mija
We Belong (Odesza Remix) - RAC & Katie Herzig
Blue and Yellow - The Used
Like a Prayer - Madonna
ATL - HUCCI
Heater - Flume
Praise Kendrick - Toadface
Disenchanted - Yheti
Where Did I Go - Jorja Smith
Dead Seas - Awoltalk & Cozway
white lies (M¥rrĦ Ka Ba remix) - Alice Glass
Levels (Luca Lush Lift) - Avicii
Dream Whirled (Zebbler Encanti Experience Remix) - Space Jesus & Esseks
Independent - Twrk & Lambo
Don't Want You Back - Backstreet Boys
Passion Fruit (TEEMID & Liz Loughrey Cover) - Drake
Mind (feat Kai - Ekali & Gravez Remix) - Skrillex & Diplo
Obsession - Gesaffelstein
Without a Trace (REZZ Remix) - Kill the Noise
Quiet Seeds - Charlesthefirst
Too Long - Tennyson
Go (Shadient Remix Reprise) - Grimes
Good Enough - Alison Wonderland
Psychedelic - Prophet
High (Bassnectar Remix) - Rusko
Breathe Me (Butch Clancy Remix) - Sia
Show Me Love (Big Wild Remix) - Hundred Waters
Beautiful World - Tennyson
